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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (March 1, 1991)
14 ▼ March 1— 1 ▼ )— t vv- ■ HIV, M on rA m our Are we becoming a c< immunity split into HIV positives andi HIV negatives? r Iifp l if * /® /.. ill® : by ‘ an older that there S& ' ■ ■,.. ■ B w gM ;, ... t I : because h e was sick. , moved out o f our apartment l int» a tiny one- s& n is based <m more than just fear. “If I had a lover die, and went through that painful process, I would be wary o f going through that again,” he about how his own antibody status, and that of on the course of Andrew M ille r ■ uncan and I were having dinner at B enny’s Burritos again. We were sandwiched in between two tables of straight couples out on dates. A table o f football-player types were just finishing their enchiladas. Loitering at the door were three gay men who looked vaguely familiar to me from the two years I’ve spent covering ACT UP meetings and Queer Nation dem onstrations and going to parties at M aria’s house in the East Village. Duncan and I were deep in conversation when my eyes drifted over to the cute red-haired boy wearing a leather jacket. No uncommon occurrences so far. He was facing away from me, siuing at the table where the football players had been. But it was the back o f his jacket I was staring at. In fine AIDS-activist, radical-mod fashion, he had affixed a huge sticker to the leather, right be tween the shoulder blades. But far beyond the standard pink-and-black silencc/violence fare, this manifesto was unlike anything I had ever read before. The sticker, printed with its first three words enlarged and overlayed on the smaller, black- and-white text, began, “Male/Positive/29.” “The last one dumped me for a pretty nega tive,” the text continued. “ Although he was ac cepting of my status, he said there wasn’t enough passion in our relationship. I agreed: It’s hard to feel passion when your partner’s afraid to kiss. This guy was smart: He knew his facts, but still, in his heart, kissing me m eant death. OK, brother, follow your heart, and get the fuck away from me. Happy as I was to curse him, I began to worry about my future and my chances o f feeling passion again. Was the last one truly the last? For two weeks I fantasized about suicide and celibacy. Then I met the next one, and we didn’t talk o f status or acceptance: We talked about art. And in bed we shared so many kisses, so much passion, unhesitating. I felt alive and was alive, and I forgot about the last one, the smart one, the passionless one.” That sticker could have been the catalyst for dozens o f conversations I have had in the past year, at dinner parties in Brooklyn living rooms, J on the beach at the Pines, in the locker room ai the Y and on the telephone late at night from m apartment on the Lower East Side. D I have discussed the implications o f positiv negative romance with a friend whose lover di a year ago last spring, after he found out that boy he was dating had 350 T-cells. I have lyzed it theoretically with another friend who been single, and HIV negative, for years. I have counseled my friend Marc, w re- cently broke up with his boyfriend and no that being 37 and HIV positive takes him the category of potential-boyfriend mai have steadfastly avoided talking about the with two men I ’ve slept with in the past privately railing against my dissatisfaction the choices the age of AIDS has served up. And when I had my second HIV test this summer after a bout with shingles, I understi just how radically those test results would my perspective on all proceeding discussio: As it turns out, the owner o f the jacket also the author of the sticker, one Rick Jaco an administrator at the University o f _________ San Francisco, who works with a n e jM 9 N B H [ gay activist art collective that ¿.alls itself Q Think _______________ Rick told me that the c o lle c tiH H ^ H M H H put out five stickers a m onth from now tihtil June, when its members plan with all of their work. The am report edly becoming a part of t h ^ m m rather quickly. __________________ Other texts produced by the Bay Area artists include a monologue b a ii B l I i M M M i l M M l brother is a drug adi man describing a > beeoi iftpiaiim friends urge hi “As an to think >> í ” vto- ■ ■> î sw, * > ; à. ' I can h the tri ; J® »i.---liona. Mwmfrm . % p m m I . next • is some s two.” ial term s, as t mat hurt the : I soil need to i t ’« m y responsibility to find somebody for whom it’s not an issue. I t’s not ray responsibU- And it sometimes works both ways. At an- W V saga, just after his diagno sis, Mam was reluctant » get involved with any body, but especially someone who had tested negative. Other friends have had similar experi ences. “It definitely has an effect on people,” Marc told me last week. “It's the central sexual issue.” Just scan the personal ads in any bar rag or skin mag to discover die topic’s growing popu larity. Ads f o r ’’healthy guy seeking same” or, appear more common In itially through sexual relations, ¡along those hues is serious V M 1011 summer 1 he< And as H IV has become lives, w hether it’: ¿m. friend’s, it has b y : relationships, too. I’ve otherwise, and to start ta&iag about how l a*t have a boyfriend who is to incorporate it into m y < : safe sex is that safe and why. Safe amt m eat» HIV preven- “One o f the social issues o f i distinction between th ep o s live,” Ride Jacobsen noted v is positive or has some respects. And it’s gom_ » have gotten In- don’t talk about it openly.” and who despite the IfllF r r l KNOW WHAT YOU’RE BUYING t USED VEHICLE INSPECTIONS. • CONVENIENT BUS ROUTES. 6006 E Burnside • Portland Phone 231-8486 G erard UHie Free 60 minute initial consul ta tibnijefore you begin your home search. A "I S T A R T B Y L IS T E N IN G " a G&M Automotive Inc. PDX Automotive 5934 N.E. Halsey • Portland Phone 282-3315 M ichael Cox “Mechanics With A Conscience" :.W -w Jiome isn't just e right property. ."T i Complete automotive service of foreign and domestic cars and light trucks - Free Ride to MAX In an address book that I have owned for about five years are die names o f 10 rami who are dead. A nother 20 are HIV positive, and about a dozen o f them have AIDS, or are sick enough for HIV to have an impact cm the way they live from day to day. An old boyfriend o f mine moved back to his parents’ house in the Midwest Ian winter, after becoming too sick to stay in New York any longer. In my own life, I am beyond die point where I can pretend that AIDS h asn 't become a part of everything I do. M y HIV test this past summer cured me o f that fantasy. Although it was nega tive, it reminded me that this division between positive and negative is im precise at best, be cause for people who are : he sees as a trend Ï# to f ‘ status as f M choices thty make about a * | | WILEY v M illy n n Jam es Your Real Estate Professional (503) 232-6000 • FAX 232-7032 - lin > ■' A Res. 234-6255 See classifieds for March listings ^CON N ECTION